Darkness Overwhelming
by Lucifer Hisaki
Summary: A Jamie/Bit with suicide attempts, character deaths, and a whole lot of angst. A soon to be Yaoi in the next chapter.


Darkness Overwhelming part 1  
  
By Three Wings (Le Wing and Demon Wing)  
  
Author's note: There is a character death, angst, and suicide attempt  
Warning: This is a soon to be YAOI (MALE/MALE relationship)  
  
"He's dead," said Doctor Toros as he spoke to me after the battle between the Flugel team and the Blitz team.  
  
"How," I asked, trying my best to be strong.  
  
"The Backdraft group reformed and they shot every single aerial Zoid and planes, thinking them to be spies, flying through the A-9 airspace coordinate. Your father was passing through, at the time, that airspace. There are no survivors. I'm sorry, Jamie, I know how it is like to lose a love one," he consoled.  
  
"Thank you for telling me," I said emotionlessly as I walked away from the Doctor.  
  
I silently walked to my room to cry but my tears betrayed the fact, that I was strong. I took my father for granted, believing that he could survive through anything after the accident. I never even told him how much I loved him. I started to run to my room. A few minutes later, I collided with something, Bit. I didn't feel like talking to him but when he spoke to me, I froze.  
  
"I heard the news, Jamie. I'm sorry for what happen," he said.  
  
"I don't need your pity," I spat.  
  
"What's wrong with you? I'm only trying to help ease the pain."  
  
"I'm not weak! I don't need any sympathy. I can take care of my self," I yelled but my tears proved that my statement was a lie.  
  
I quickly ran to room and locked my door. I practically tore off my clothes as I walked to my bed. I soon buried my head into my pillow to muffle my sobs as I let go of my pride. I heard a knock at my door and brace myself.  
  
"Leave me alone," I cried.  
  
"Jamie, I just want to talk to you." It was Lena.  
  
"Lena go away! I don't feel like talking," I screamed.  
  
"Please, just let me in," she was almost pleading.  
  
"GO AWAY!"  
  
"Fine," with that she left.  
  
I vaguely remember that I cried my self to sleep that night. I also vaguely remembered what happened in the next couple of weeks, all I knew was I started to become cold and heartless. Zoid battles lost their appeal to me. I even stopped making battle strategies. I remember wearing black every day to symbol my grief though I didn't show it. Brad once commented that my face look like an expressionless marble craving of my face. When I spoke, my voice was always hinted with anger. Soon everyone started to become distant to me.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^  
  
The day of the funeral came a month after my ad's death. The blitz team, Frugal team, Doctor Toros, Doctor Lyon, and I sat in the first two pews of the church. I was listening to the priest while keeping a perfect composure on the outside while I was falling apart inside. The funeral went as fast as my dad's body turned to ash on the pyre. I choose the pyre simply because he deserved a warrior's funeral and have it outside so his ashes could fly with the wind one last time. Once back at the base, I quickly walk/run to my room to avoid receiving anyone's pity. When there was a knock on the door, I simply ignore it. Soon the person gave up and left me alone with my thoughts as company. I thought of the times I spent with my dad. The one I thought most of was the "accident". Or at least what happened after the accident. He was in a coma for five weeks and during those five weeks, I began to cut myself cut myself on my upper arms. I cut myself to release my pain. When I heard he was going to make it, I stop. The scars from then are barely visible now but they are replaced my new wounds and scars. I started after hearing the news of my dad's death and from then on I wore long sleeves to hide the scars. I began to think self-destructive thoughts one week ago, now I think I might actually do it. The others don't really care for me; they're only nice to me because I'm their teammate. They think I'm weak, so they won't care if I kill myself, that will just prove how weak I'm.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^  
  
The day after the funeral was perfect for suicide. The time 2:00 p.m. and the others left one hour ago and won't be back until 5 hours later. By then I would be dead that nothing could revive me. I stepped out of my room and headed toward the medicine cabinet and took out a bottle of aspirin and carried the container to the kitchen table. I sat down and opened the bottle and pour all the contents on the table.  
  
I took one pill in my hand and said to no one, "Here's to life," I swallowed the pill.  
  
I repeated the gesture with the rest of the pills. After finishing the bottle I did not fall dead as I hope instead I was very much awake. I wanted to die so much I dragged my body to the drawer that held the knives, choosing the sharpest one. I dragged my almost useless body to my room and closed the door, not locking it. I examined my wrist for a large artery and found one then I slashed it. I walked slowly to my bed and lied down on it and cover myself with the blankets. Soon I started to lose conscious and I welcomed the black bliss.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^  
  
  
AN: I don't what to do from so far but I know that in the next chapters there will be Jamie/Bit. I may have alternate chapters to this story too. Sorry but I had to do it besides Demon and I wanted to make a collaboration. For my flamers, your flames will be used as foot warmers for the homeless. I even put a warning that there will be YAOI on my other story and there will be some here too soon. So don't flame me I already giving you a warning and you don't want me to sic Demon on you.  
  
Please review and no mean flames or you will die from Demon's wrath 


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